Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
