life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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