eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Randomize
