Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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