I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
Randomize
