There is no way he is gay with that hair.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
