yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
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