I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
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