I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Randomize
