need another drink. this is the easiest way
I can't open my eyes
Lol why not?
Because I have fat ankles and I'm drunk
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
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