Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Randomize
