I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
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