You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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