Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
the gays at disneyland are vicious
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
