my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
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