all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
I came so hard my ears popped.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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