forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Randomize
