I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Randomize
