So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
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