apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
he just fucked me for my cheese..
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
