I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Randomize
