Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize