I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
