This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
You're like the curious george of whores
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
