im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize
