Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
