I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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