Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
Randomize