so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Randomize
