That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
