More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
