And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
The uberlube is also flammable
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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