I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
All the doctor said was why
Randomize
