There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Randomize
