At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Are we still banned from the library?
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Randomize
