Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Randomize