I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
I want to fling myself into the sun
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
Randomize
