It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
