you turned your livingroom into a bong?
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
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