Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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