Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
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