Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
I'm just crazy horny about you
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
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