PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
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