Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
You are a genius and a whore.
Randomize
