help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Randomize
