The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
