k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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