would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
Randomize
