DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
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