Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Randomize
