32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
In other news, I just burned my penis
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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