fuck your aforementioned shoe
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
