i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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