i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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