Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Randomize