you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Randomize
