Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
She tied me up with her honor cords...
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
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