we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
