Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
