perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
