Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Randomize
