It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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