I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize
