So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
