I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Randomize
