I wannas sexs uuuuu
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
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