i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
