I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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