Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Someone signed my nipple.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
