I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
