ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
