It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
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