I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Hey
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GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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