I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
