Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
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